Every Now and Then
by criminally charmed
Summary: Alan Eppes reflects on his life since the death of his beloved wife Margaret. Songfic using Garth Brook's Every Now and Then.


Every Now and Then

By Criminally Charmed

Don't own numb3rs, if I did I would not be clearing a foot of snow. First effort, be kind.

Alan Eppes was a lucky man. He knew that. His sons, Don and Charlie, were the best sons. He may not always understand his genius son's brilliant mind or his firstborn's love for his dangerous job with the FBI, but their love and familial devotion was all a father could hope for. Charlie now owned the house where the boys had been raised in, but Alan knew part of Charlie's reason for buying it was to stay close to Alan, as well as giving Don a comfort zone. The house was often busy, a frequent meeting place for the brave members of Don's team, as well as Charlie's colleagues, Amita and Larry. The eclectic gatherings were part of their family and Alan loved it. But sometimes, he recalled just what was missing.

_I walked down to the park last night_

_Warm breeze stirring up the soft moonlight_

_And my mind started drifting to way back when_

_Yes I do think about you every now and then_

Margaret Eppes had been by Alan's side for more than thirty years. She had loved him, sacrificed for him, given him two wonderful sons. Then she had left him. Oh, not by choice. Cancer had robbed him of his wife and best friend, nearly shattering the small family. It had taken time, but they had come out if the loss stronger for it, as if by Margaret not laying down the bridges for the gaps, the Eppes men had built new bridges – together.

_The other day I saw a car like you use to drive_

_I got a funny feeling down deep inside_

_And for the briefest moment I felt a smile begin_

_Yes I do think about you every now and then_

Retirement hadn't been that great. With Charlie either at CalSci or on a consulting job, often with Don at the FBI, the house got lonely. And travel held little pull, knowing it would be as a single person. Margaret had had so many retirement plans. So when a consulting job of his own had come up, Alan had snatched at the chance to do more than try and catch his sons at dinner.

_I love my life and I'd never trade_

_Between what you and I had and the life I've made_

_She's here and she's real, but you were too_

_And every once in a while I think about you_

And then there was Millie. Brilliant in her own right, she was Charlie's boss at CalSci. A born administrator, she often steamrolled over his gentle genius of a son. But it had been Alan who truly shocked Charlie when had shown a romantic interest in Millie. It wasn't that his son didn't want his father to date again. It was just Millie was so different from Margaret. The boss thing didn't help.

_I heard a song on the radio just yesterday_

_The same one you always asked me to play_

_And when the song was over _

_I wished they'd played it again_

_Yes I do think about you every now and then_

Don seemed to be torn. Like Charlie, Don only wanted his Dad to be happy. Don knew how lost Alan was without Margaret. He wanted his father around for years to come. And he certainly didn't feel Alan should become a monk. Maybe it was best when Don's co-worker Megan became inexplicably drawn to Charlie's oddball fellow professor Larry. Maybe a bit of a mismatch but one that made the pair happy, filling a need in both of them. Much as Millie had done for Alan.

_I love my life and I'd never trade_

_Between what you and I had and the life I've made_

_She's here and she's real, but you were too_

_And every once in a while I think about you_

He supposed it put more pressure on his sensitive, brilliant son. God knows how Charlie handled it, working with Millie and then having to come home a few times to the couple on the couch. Almost as hard as it was for him to remember to knock now when he went out to Charlie's office/ garage. Both he and Millie had spotted Charlie and Amita in a compromising situation or two. Margaret had always worried that no one woman could ever match Charlie's passion for numbers. But Amita seemed to manage it. And as long as their romantic relationship did nothing to damage CalSci, Millie seemed to be fine with it. This was a good thing, because Charlie would fight to keep Amita in his life and Alan would be reluctant to choose between his child and his romantic life.

_I've been laying here all night listenin' to the rain_

_Talking to my heart and trying to explain_

_Why sometimes I catch myself_

_Wondering what might have been_

_Yes I do think about you_

_Every now and then_

Margaret Eppes was gone. But Alan, Charlie and Don Eppes were still here, so Margaret was still here. And she would have never wanted them to grieve forever. Alan and his boys – and their romantic lives – would be alright. Not better, not worse. But the Eppes family was strong. They would live.

_Every now and then_


End file.
